USA v. England Drinking and Yelling Game



The Biggest Game Going

By Christopher Kyak

Saturday June 12 at 2:30 PM EST, the US will play England in the opening match of Group C, one of the biggest games in US Soccer history.

The last and only time these two teams met in the World Cup was 1950 when the USA was made up entirely of amateurs.  That US team included players with the diverse occupations of teachers and even undertaker.  Despite the fact that England was made up entirely of professionals, the US triumphed 1-0.

At the time, England was widely considered the best team in the world. That game was immortalized in print and film under the name “The Game of Their Lives”.

The Fun Stuff: Drinking and Yelling

This game is going to be intense,  both of them.

During the Star Spangled Banner: sing your hearts out, hats off, scarves up (if you have one).

During the English National Anthem: Get rowdy and call them wankers, start drinking uncontrollably.  Address any England supporter as Tony Hayward.

Anytime Wayne Rooney (Striker for England) is shown on TV, yell: “What, Me Worry?” [He looks like Alfred E. Neuman, of MAD Magazine]

USA Goal: Drink in a Celebratory Way, jump up and down, start some sort of chant.  It doesn’t matter what as long as you can repeat it.

England Goal: Call them wankers, Drink in a consoling way

Anytime they mention 1950: drink up for historic US soccer figures Harry Keough, Walter Bahr and the goal scorer Joe Gaetjens.

Any time someone in a bar or viewing party shouts “Don’t Tread on Me!”: Drink up for the US first defeat of England in 1776.

Anytime John Terry (Defender for England) is shown: Yell something about infidelity since he knocked up a teammates wife at Chelsea FC.  Always a classy way to get on with your teammates.

England Fouls the USA: start chanting “Same old England, always cheating!” and drink.

USA fouls England: yell he deserved it and drink.

Yellow Card for England: drink and call him a wanker.  Buy the person to your right a drink.

Yellow for USA: complain that the ref is blind and drink, buy the person to your right a whiskey.

Red Card for England: Drink and call him a wanker.  High five the guy to your right.

Red for USA: Don’t to anything too bad and drink, demand whiskey from the barkeep.

USA wins: drink for the rest of the day and celebrate, don’t get arrested or cajole your mate’s significant other.

England wins: drink for the rest of the day and console yourself in spirits.

I’ll be in Kearny, NJ where there are a few viewing parties for this game.

The one I will be at is at the Kearny Scots Club at 40 Patterson Ave, Free transportation from the Harrison PATH train station beginning around 12-12:30 provided by the North Jersey Brigade USMNT Supporters Group. The Kearny Irish American Association at 95 Kearny Ave will have one and Red Bull Arena in Harrison will have it on in the Stadium for free.

Beware, call ahead if you’re headed to a pub that doesn’t have a clearly discernible bent–some may be English Supporters.

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8 Responses

  1. This sounds like fun. and a headache.

  2. While completely arbitrary, not-rational, and dare I say Juvenile, this sounds like a lot of fun. Speaking of soccer and your other post on Tim Pawlenty. DS’s John Oliver’s report from the US camp was really was and at the same time infuriating.

  3. Wanker!

  4. I just realized Chris did not include a capstone directive for a draw!

  5. Via Text from Krissy T Re: Drinking Game=You can just title mine: how many fights can krissy get in while also insulting as many people as possible

  6. Again via Krissy T: “Also wearing my Greece jersey, I’m on the hunt for Koreans.”

    not sure exactly
    what that means.

  7. 400 at Kearny scots 4 of them england fans. Atmosphere is incredible

  8. […] 3. USA v. England Drinking and Yelling Game […]

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